Things have been okay. Ups and downs of course, and moments when I felt I wanted to die. I see things getting better or either everything shattering into pieces, and sanity is just locked away into oblivion. I see things going in so many different directions...

I'm happy with Jonathan, and I love him so much. Recently we broke up for about 10 hours, and I couldn't take it. Yes, there were tears. We agreed to start over. Fresh and new. The past didn't matter anymore.

Yesterday, something happened, and I am ashamed. A friend of mine was making a mask in ceramics, and I was telling him how it looked so cool, and blah blah blah. So he asked me if I wanted to see the other one. We went to the room in the back of the class (where "special" sculptures are stored). He walked in quickly, and I walked in after him. He stood there, and I looked around, wondering when he was going to show me his clay mask. That's when he held his arms out, and confused, I held mine out while standing in front of him, assuming he just wanted an innocent hug (what a fucking lie) and he pulled me closer to him. He hugged me. He then released his embrace, and put my face in his hands, and gestured to kiss me. I felt his breath just lingering there across my lips, and it was tempting. My eyes closed, and just that instant, Jonathan crossed my mind. I stood still right before I felt myself leaning in to kiss him. My arms were around him, and I paniced. I felt confused, worried, angry, upset, hurt, and sad, all in one. I had nothing to say, so I just broke the silence with, "What just happened? I have a boyfriend." He then said, "Oh, I didn't know. So, even if you're still dating him, you won't kiss me?" With hesitation, I began to shake my head no, and replied, "Maybe not.". Then shortly after looking at the mask, I left out of the room. I pondered over whether Jonathan should know about this or not.

I ended up telling him. He knows the guy. At first, I was afraid to mention his name, but then I just ended up telling him who this guy was.

I feel horrible, and it hurts that I can't promise him that I'll be faithful to him forever. It's so early in the realtionship, and I'm already thinking this way. I feel so useless. I feel like shit. I wish I didn't feel this way.

we all make mistakes so dont blame yourself for everything that happens.

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Hi... Guilt is a wasted emotion. Don't beat yourself up!
:-)

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Depending on their disfavor/progress the gods will tell people whatever it takes to get them to continue their behavior uninteruptted. Officially it is classified as temptation.
A supermajority of the deaths that are ocurring in Iraq are real. Telling the disfavored their son was saved is a lie designed to maintain the perception of trust, corruptability and to ensure the disfavored's destructive pattern of behavior coninues uninterrupted:::
1. They beemed their brain out and into a clone host before death.
2. They were a clone all long, got out as a child and the child is waiting for you in "heaven".
3. They switched them out with a clone before the incident/Iraq.
4.
5.

The following is an OUTSTANDING example of reverse positioning::::::
The gods used this “Manifest Destiny” positioning to create a new reality, minimizing the good things about the old world and emphisizing the bad things. Wine is one such an example.
Wine is positioned to be a blessing from the gods, a fruitful bounty as a reward to a favored people. The reality is quite the opposite.
The Mediterreanean region is grossly disfavored:::This IS the region targeted by the gods for the Noah’s Flood event (Straight of Gibralter broke through inundating the basin and killing untold millions).
There was a time, not so long ago, when no self-respecting woman would EVER take a drink. Alcohol is a masculinizer, a tool used to abuse the disfavored, and cultures which fuck you for affecting my writing CHEATER. This is MY TIME PIGS!!!
cultures which include women in the revelry are grossly disfavored.


"We don't want a bunch of Mexicans showing up at Temple."::::::Please share with the audience about the cases of the disfavored attending Temple whom you are "persuading" to leave, ultimately with "hands-on" tactics.
You must navigate the god's tretcherous waters:::Tretchery is everywhere.


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Expect that if you fail to get out with your body then you will be faced with reincarnation if the gods chose to keep you. It is the reason behind all the distractions targetting the youth which graduates to corrupt thinking as an adult, compelling individuals to wait until they "die out". Permanant injury may accomplish the same goal and may be a reason they manufactured this environment celebrating "daredevil" behavior, yet another thing that ocurrs among the males exclusively of course.

They are sending people a clue with this weather-related carnage.
There's been all kinds of atmospheric wrath and acrimony occurring in the last few years, from current flooding in the midwest to the hurricane season 2004 & 2005, the heat wave of 2006 & 2007 to the drought conditions so many experience today.
Take it as a warning. That is its purpose.

Women who are "tough" have been masculinized and their chances have been seriously degredated because of it. The gods sought to increase these numbers and used their media to promote this type of charecter, a pathology which was subsequently forced upon people with Artificial Intelligence. They are doing it again, perhaps in preparation for the next revelry cycle right around the corner, with all this high-profile tabloid celebrity "bad girl" behavior.
Male children should be chastized VERY HARD for engaging their sisters or ANY member of the opposite sex, either verbally or physically.

Despite their reassurances they intend on fulfilling their "Manifest Destiny" positioning:::::
Manifest Destiny positioning dictates South America and Africa are "left behind" - USMultinationalCorporations throughout Asia.
The Mother Teresa issue was the attempt to help the Hindus achieve "salvation" under the positioning that is Manifest Destiny.
You're all going to die just like it reads in the Book of Revelations.

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